Maria Hart Mysteries and Port City Mysteries

Library listing at UNC.

2012-01-27T13:08:00.000-08:00

I came across this today on the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill's library website. They have both of the Port City Mystery books in the North Carolina section of the Wilson Library. This is the listing they posted and it shows they read the book. Thanks UNC!

Ian Porthos Wallace is a simple man. He enjoys wearing the kilts of his Scottish ancestry, working as a food writer and photographer, and making his lovely fiancée, Athena Spyros, happy. What Ian doesn’t enjoy is murder, but it falls into his path anyway. Literally. He trips over Brenda Dexter’s body while walking on Wrightsville Beach, a stone’s throw from his home on the North Carolina coast. Ian used to know Brenda as the neighbor lady who locked herself out of the house every so often, but now he’ll be forced to remember her as a dead body.

Murder isn’t the only thing on Ian’s plate. He’s also planning a wedding with (or perhaps in spite of) his intended’s mother, Maria. Since Athena’s last marriage was an absolute disaster, Maria is determined that everything will be perfect for her baby this time around. When Ian gets the bright idea of holding the wedding in Scotland in his family’s ancestral town, Maria is dead set against it. But even with unrest on the home front and a wedding looming in the near future, Ian can’t stop thinking about Brenda Dexter’s murder, which remains a mystery. So he does a little sleuthing of his own, starting with his eccentric neighbors.

First, he talks to Ruby, who lived in the other side of Brenda’s duplex. Ruby is a great gal; she’s a stripper past her prime and her fashion sense favors animal print and pink fluff. But she doesn’t know anything. Next, he gets to know April and May, two eighty-year-old sisters with a passion for the home shopping network, who are similarly clueless about Brenda’s death. Other neighbors and various local characters come and go, but no one knows anything. Then, another murder occurs and someone steps forward with an unexpected confession.

Books are now available on Nook

2011-12-16T13:36:00.000-08:00

The Ian Wallace books are both out on Nook now, as are the first two Maria Hart books. I'll get the last two out soon. The links are below.

Eliminating the Middleman

Five Fingered Firebugs

Chalk Dust and Chalk Outlines

New novel started

2011-11-20T12:20:00.001-08:00

I started a new novel the other day. After staring at a blank screen for about an hour it started to flow and is now beginning to take shape.

I call this one Killer Competition and it features Ian Wallace as he judges a cooking competition called Sliced, patterned after some competitions on TV, and one of his fellow judges dies from poisoned food. In this book Maria and Dan Hart are in town, Maria is a judge as well and Dan is the emcee.

It should prove interesting to balance the two characters and have them work together to solve the murder. I'll keep you posted as it progresses and I'll put up a sample soon.

The biggest problems facing the world.

2011-09-04T16:24:00.000-07:00

I was recently at the mall and I looked in the cooking sections of Macy's and in William's Sonoma for an escargot dish. I didn't come across one, but I came to realize that perhaps the biggest problem known to man is how to open a bottle of wine. It has to be, just look at all of the contraptions people have come up with to remove a piece of cork (or plastic as is now becoming common) from a bottle. The obvious solution is to buy boxed wine.

A second problem is catching mice. Take a look at all of the traps and contraptions out there and you'll realize it is a huge issue. I usually use the old fashioned trap baited with peanut butter and catch three over a two day period. Not so this time. I have a mouse, or mice who seem not to want peanut butter and would prefer to gnaw at the top of my olive oil container. I hate to use poison because I don't know where they'll wind up and I'm not about to bring in a cat.

Killer Surf

2011-08-25T16:21:00.000-07:00

Killer Surf is out on Kindle and it will be available in paperback in about a month. You can click the link on the side or here for the Kindle.

Ian Wallace's second outing starts with him walking on the beach and tripping over something somewhat soft and large. After he picked himself up he looks at what he tripped over and realized it was a body. His first reaction, vomit. His second, call 911. Worse yet, the body was that of his neighbor Brenda Dexter.

When Detective Jim Halstead tells Ian it was murder, Ian helps him find the killer. Along the way he meets with some quirky people both in his neighborhood and out of it. Meet Ruby, the stripper who lived next door to Brenda, the two batty old women who order merchandise from television, and the man who sits on his porch all day in his bathrobe smoking cigarettes and drinking beer. Ian also visits the seedier side of town in his quest.

I changed the cover as I thought the original one was a but too monochromatic and the blue washed everything out. For my friends in Wilmington you will recognize the location as Johnny Mercer's Pier at Wrightsville Beach.

Here is an excerpt.

Did you ever have one of those times in your life when everything was going just right and you knew something, or someone was going to come along and ruin it? You know the feeling, everything is in balance and harmony and yet that feeling of dread just shows up.

Well, that’s how I felt as I was walking along an empty Wrightsville Beach very early one fine Tuesday morning minding my own business and soaking up some rays with the surf washing over my ankles. I had Beethoven’s Piano Concerto Number Five, that’s The Emperor Waltz written about Napoleon, in my head, well the iPod was putting it there, and this weird feeling that something strange was going to happen started to crowd out the song. I shook it off and looked out at the waves and watched a flock of pelicans flying in formation looking for fish swooping between the waves.

I was so fascinated by the birds that I wasn’t paying attention to my footing and I tripped over something slightly soft and large, landing flat on my face in the sand, my kilt flying up over my waist. I pushed myself up from the beach, wiped the sand from my face, and turned to look at what I’d tripped over. That’s when I realized what that feeling of dread was about, I’d tripped over a dead body. I got to my knees, turned, and took a closer look and that only made matters worse. You guessed it. I threw up. I couldn’t help it. It started as a gag and ended up with my hurling on the body, and on myself.

Encore Magazine

2011-08-18T13:06:00.000-07:00

If you haven't seen it yet, I got a nice write-up in Encore Magazine. That's the arts and literature magazine in Wilmington, NC. Tiffanie Gabrielese called me last week and we had a nice conversation. Check it out at http://www.encorepub.com/welcome/?p=8771

Book signing in Wilmington, NC August 21

2011-08-09T05:57:00.001-07:00

For my friends in Wilmington, NC, and anyone who'd like to travel, I will be at Old Books on Front Street on Sunday August 21st at 3:30 in the afternoon for a book signing and reading. So if you have nothing better to do come on down and pay a visit.

I will be wearing a kilt and I promise there will be an absence of haggis. But there will be authentic Scottish music with Craig and possibly some Scottish Ale from Front Street Brewery.

New series, new book

2011-03-20T11:14:00.001-07:00

My new book, the first in the Port City Mystery series, is about to be released. This new series features Ian Porthos Wallace, a kilt wearing food photographer and writer from Port City (Wilmington) North Carolina who gets involved in solving a murder to help out a friend who is wrongly accused of killing his boss, a famous French Chef.

There is mystery involved as Ian tries to find the killer. There is romance involved as Ian reconnects with Athena, his on again, off again girlfriend. There is suspense involved in the ending. And there is humor involved as he meets some quirky people along the way. Will he solve the mystery and get the girl? Read and find out.

The Kindle version is now available at Amazon. The print version is out now too on Amazon.

Oils well that ends well.

2010-12-12T11:42:00.000-08:00

I had two experiences recently with major retailers that I thought I’d share with you, and both were related to oil in some way. One involved an oil change in the Mustang and the other was replacing a snow blower that seized the engine as a result of being bone-dry in the crankcase. Apparently small engines need lubrication as much as their big brothers, maybe even more so, especially after that nasty storm we had last year.

I needed an oil change in the Mustang and debated where to take it. Years ago I changed my own, but it is worth a bit extra to stay clean and not have to crawl under the car, plus the disposal of the old oil is a pain. At my age and size I’d just get stuck under the car anyway. I’ve been taking it to the dealer, but the wait is too long. I drove past a couple of those oil change places and the local Valvoline place didn’t have much of a line. That decided it. I pulled in and was told it would be a half-hour or so and the price was about thirty bucks. Not bad. Well, thirty minutes later my car was in the bay. Five minutes later the mechanic called me out and talked me into an up-grade on the oil and a new air filter. Now the bill was at seventy bucks. The funny part came when the mechanic was finished. He came into the waiting area with my dipstick in hand. He had it in his right hand and the long part was over his left forearm like a sommelier presenting a bottle of fine wine. He said, “Your current oil level sir.” I didn’t know if I should sniff it or take a taste so I just smiled and nodded my approval. Theatrical customer service.

We went to Sears to buy a snow blower and the one I wanted was out of stock, so I asked about buying the one on the floor. The saleswoman, a nice older woman, checked and said I could. I then asked about a discount for buying the floor model and she called the manager, several times. He didn’t respond for about twenty minutes and when he did the response was that there would be no discount as they could order me a new one, or I could buy one in another store. I replied that I could indeed buy one in another store. There was a Home Depot and a Lowes on my way home. One of the other sales people said that it wouldn’t snow soon anyway, so I shouldn’t be in any hurry. Teresa said that we should leave. I told her no, that the original saleslady was trying so hard to help me, and that she would get a commission for the sale, so we stayed and I bought it anyway. Here’s where I may have had a problem with the store, but I liked a person working there. I worked in retail for quite a few years and realized that she was looking out for the customer in spite of what the store was doing to send me away.

So now I’m ready for the snow again and the oil in the car is fine. Next thing is new tires for the Mustang. That may prove amusing as well.

Our new portrait.

2010-11-29T14:06:00.000-08:00

Here is our new portrait. Not too bad for a couple that has been married for almost thirty-three years. Hopefully the next thirty-three will be as kind.

Thirty-five hundred miles in the Mustang

2010-08-27T13:31:00.000-07:00

Well, the summer is over and we're back home again getting ready to get back to work. It went by too fast but we had some fun traveling and visiting the grandchildren (and our kids too). Two round trips to Wilmington, a couple to Pennsylvania, and one to Montreal put about thirty-five hundred miles on the 'Stang. This is a bit less than the five thousand miles we travelled last summer, but that included Alabama and New Orleans. We did plan to get to Boston and Baltimore, but those trips never panned out. Maybe we'll get to Boston in the fall.

Traveling is fun, but it's nice to get back home. I'm reminded of the song Truckin';

You're sick of hangin' around and you'd like to travel;
Get tired of travelin' and you want to settle down.
I guess they can't revoke your soul for tryin',
Get out of the door and light out and look all around.

My GPS is Despondent

2010-08-17T13:02:00.000-07:00

I'm a bit worried about my GPS, I call her Chloe since I have the British voice and it seemed a nice name. Seems she's taken to throwing herself from my window while we're driving in fits of desperation when I don't listen to her and follow her directions. At first I thought she was being a bit, shall we say bitchy, about things, but now I think she's feeling a bit unloved and under-appreciated.

It all started when we were driving to Pennsylvania to our daughter's house. I know the way by now so I just turned her on so I can see the upcoming roads. She seemed a bit miffed that I wasn't using her and dropped from the window a few times. After that we put her away. On the trip to North Carolina it got worse. I ignored her suggestions and went around DC on the beltway and then it got nasty. She flung herself from the window every thirty-minutes or so after that. I don't know if she was trying to escape the car, or if she was trying to hang herself with the power cord. At any rate, it wasn't a pretty sight.

We solved the problem by moistening her suction cup and cleaning the window surface. After a little TLC she seemed to be in better spirits and stayed on for the rest of the trip, even sending us to the preferred exit off route 40 instead of the one she usually tries to send us to. I'm going to try to be more respectful now and boost her self-esteem.

I get the feeling that she isn't all that happy with her lot, or with me for that matter. In fact if she were my spouse I probably wouldn't be getting lucky in the foreseeable future. Maybe my GPS just has PMS. I thought about switching back to the American voice, but that one is too judgmental. Maybe French would work. I wouldn't understand her, but she'd sound prettier when she told me off. I keep waiting for her to say, "Why don't you just tell me the route you want to take."

Maybe we just need to learn to communicate better.

Hello friends and fans in the UK

2010-08-06T06:05:00.000-07:00

Hello to all of my friends, and fans in the UK. And family too. I just got word from Amazon that the Kindle version of my books are now available in the UK. The price for each is three pounds, seventy-seven, which I think is equal to the five dollar US price. This is a lot better than the print versions which go through distributers and the prices can vary wildly.

Here is the link that will get you to the main listing. Once you get there order one of each, then tell your friends. If I sell enough copies I'll come over and visit. I'll have tea, or a pint, with you and we can discuss whatever you'd like.

Getting in touch with my Scottish roots

2010-07-31T13:38:00.000-07:00

Last April I went to England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland with thirty-nine teenagers, and a few chaperones as well. It was an interesting trip, but it made me swear off of trips with teens. Now I love to go to Washington with my freshmen, but these were seniors and they were a tad wild. My favorite part of the trip? Scotland, hands down. I was only in Edinburgh, so I didn't see too much, but it was an amazing city with a mix of the old and the new. The people were also friendly, much more so than Ireland. Ireland was too full of non-Irish, plus they were still reeling from the recently collapsed economic boom, so they didn't really care about pleasing the tourists. I liked London, the locals I met were nice, but it was full of nasty tourists.

Anyway, when I was in Scotland I looked at kilts, one of the students bought one, and I finally decided to buy one. Unfortunately the shops were all closed when I went back to get one. When I got home I decided to order one and did some research. I chose this great company called Stillwater Kilts in Minneapolis. Good prices and fast delivery. The one I bought is the Thrifty kilt for thirty dollars, and I added the belt, sporran, socks and flashes for another forty. You need the sporran since there are no pockets and without it, and the belt, it does look like a skirt.

I also did some research and found that the Forman name is from Northern England and Southern Scotland. The name spelled Foreman means boss. Spelled Forman it means pig herder. I like that as pigs were a very important part of the diet then and pig herders were needed. I like ribs and sausages too. The Forman family came here in the 1700's from England. My other side is Dutch and Scots Irish. McCord, VanBuren (yeah, we're related to Martin VanBuren, one of the least significant Presidents in American history. Old Kinderhook.) and VanDerMark.

So today I finally put the thing on and it felt great. Very liberating. My son-in-law once said he thought that women had it made. When it's hot out they can put on a sundress and get the breeze. I think without the wool socks, and wearing sandals, it would be nice on a summer day. Okay, I know what the big question is; what was I wearing underneath? Sorry, but that's personal. I will say this, if you wear underwear it's a skirt.

I have Dan Hart buy one, and wear it, in the book I'm working on now.

Reflections on the South

2010-07-28T18:03:00.001-07:00

Just got back from a trip to Wilmington, NC to visit the grandchildren, and I had a few thoughts about how different things are south of the Mason-Dixon line. Of course Wilmington is not truly indicative of the South because most of the people you meet aren't from there, they started their lives somewhere else. Not quite like Florida though where everyone is from where you're from. North Carolina is a lot different from the deep South, like Alabama.

There's a certain relaxed quality of life down there. People aren't in as much of a hurry as they are in the North. You realize this when you talk to someone. They'll take the time to tell you their whole life story, and they'll take the time to listen to yours. I mean really listen. I watched a few people talking, not really listening to the conversation, but rather how they talked. I wasn't being nosy, I just wanted to be able to properly depict people in conversation for the next book.

You also realize this slower pace at a restaurant too. Quite often fast food is just food. We hit two MacDonalds on the trip where they took forever to produce a couple of hamburgers. Sit-down restaurants were often faster.

This slower pace doesn't apply to driving though, unless it's a Maryland driver on I-95 who passes you, then drives alongside of you for the next thirty-five miles pacing you and tying up the passing lane. Or the driver who cuts in and out of traffic, darting from lane to lane only to be blocked by that Maryland driver.

There are churches everywhere too, and more Christian radio stations than any other. You can tell you're in the Bible Belt. Many businesses have bible quotes on their logos as well, one burger place has John 3:16 on their wrappers. They don't seem to be as worried about offending someone about their beliefs as the Northeast.

We looked at food prices and Teresa said the they seem to be higher than home, but restaurant prices are lower. It seemed to be cheaper to eat out than to eat in in some cases. Case in point, a six dollar, all-you-can-eat BBQ. I wonder how they do it, but maybe you can't eat that much. There are restaurants everywhere, and every kind you could ask for. Of course, Wilmington is a place where people go for vacation.

Overall, the pace and lifestyle are more relaxed, yet more formal in some ways. Children say "yes Sir" or "yes Ma'am" and they call you Mr. Chris. It's refreshing.

Then and Now

2010-07-26T17:16:00.000-07:00

Teresa and I took a trip to Montreal a couple of weeks ago and the trip took us up the Northway, Route 87 above Albany. We had the top down in the Mustang and as soon as I smelled the pine trees I was flooded with old memories. You see, when I was a teenager I had a girlfriend in Vermont and I went up there every weekend to see her. What struck me were the differences between then and now. At the risk of sounding like an old geezer, I’d like to reflect on the differences in travel over thirty-five years.

Then (1973) I had a ’67 Mustang, which had seen better days. Parts of it were held together with baling wire and electrical tape (I don’t think duct tape had yet made its debut), plus I carried a small tool kit with me in case something broke, or fell off the car. Now I had an ‘08 Mustang convertible that is still under warranty. Then I had two maps, you know, the kind that came from a gas station when they gave them away. One was of New York, the other of Vermont. Now I had a road atlas and a GPS. Bt the way, the GPS kicked out when we crossed into Canada and she kept telling me to get to the nearest road.

Then I had twenty bucks in my pocket, in 1973 you were a king if you had a full tank of gas and a crisp twenty-dollar bill. Gas was .39 a gallon and lunch was three bucks. A date cost under ten bucks, and that was a movie, dinner, and ice cream. Now I had three hundred dollars and three credit cards.

Back then when you got where you were going you called home person-to-person collect and asked for yourself. The folks at home refused the call since they knew you were safe. Now we each carried a cell phone.

Yep, life was simpler then. But as I reflected more I realized that there were some things I didn’t want to change. The new car has airbags, front and side, disc brakes, ABS, and gets better gas mileage. I also like the fact that I wasn’t listening to a tinny AM radio, or trying to get the 8-track player to work (remember when you needed to put a matchbook in with the tape to get it to play?). No, this time the I-pod was tapped into the stereo and I had two days worth of music at my fingertips.

I guess every generation thinks their time was the best of times. Maybe it was. Maybe the best of times is now.

Cape Fear Literacy Council

2010-07-22T13:45:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday I had the pleasure of attending a reading and interpretation of works from Langston Hughs, Mya Angelou and others at the Cape Fear Literacy Council in Wilmington, NC performed by three women in front of a crowd of over thirty people. They did an amazing job. What made it more amazing is that these three women entered cape Fear Literacy Council a few years ago with reading levels below third grade.

After they were done, five or six other students read short and told us of their successes. One woman had just passed the math component of the GED, the last piece of the puzzle she needed, and was graduating with her GED. Another said that she passed a test to get a better job. Success stories from people who had improved their reading and math abilities. All of the teachers at Cape Fear are volunteers, people who have given up their time to make a difference.

We take reading for granted, and we don’t often think about how important it is. We also don’t think about how many people can’t read, or have such a low reading ability that they are functionally illiterate.

This is a bit of a plug as my daughter Rachel works here. She started as a volunteer after she moved to Wilmington teaching students to read and helping to organize fundraisers. When she graduated with her MPA they created a job for her. Here’s the plug, check out their website for information on events they are holding and pay them a visit.

Southbound and down.

2010-07-16T11:10:00.000-07:00

We're headed south to see the grandchildren, and our daughters and sons-in-law too. It's hard that they live so far away, but what is nice is that they live in an area that people call a vacation spot. Two of our daughters live in Wilmington NC and are only a few minutes from the beach so we'll be spending some time in the sand and surf. We'll also be eating at some good restaurants so look for some reviews on the Burgers and Brews blog

I'll be looking at the people and places as I work on the next book, Killer Cuisine. The story starts in Wilmington, I call it Port City in the book, and goes to DC and Philadelphia. The premise is that someone is killing off the food critics. Maria gets involved and she discovers a web of intrigue that includes some wacky characters and a strange lodge devoted to the remnants of Atlantis.

Back in the USA

2010-07-14T14:03:00.000-07:00

Teresa and I just spent two days in Montreal, and we had a good time. Since Montreal is a very European, this is as close as I can get to getting her to Europe since she has a fear of flying. Only five hours north of here by car, an easy five hours too, and I've never been there.

Montreal is a small city, under two million people, and in some ways it reminds me a bit of Edinburgh with the mountain in the background, a bit of Dublin in the way some of it is laid out and a bit of New Orleans along the waterfront. The primary language is French, but most people speak English as well and they are very friendly, and very accommodating. They will speak English to you without being snooty. Of course, they do get quite a few tourists, many of whom are non-French speaking Canadians. It is helpful to know some French though, as all of the signs are strictly in French but my high school French, augmented by reading French for Dummies over the past week, was sufficient to get by.

There were some mixed reactions from the people of Montreal when we got there, please note the photo above. Actually, this is a sculpture and it was intended to be an interpretation of a group of people's reaction to sighting something that the viewer is not privy too. And no, Canadians are not that pale, they do get sun.

We like to visit cities and walk around exploring. I think we walked about fifteen miles over two days, so our legs are tired, but it was well worth it. We used the Metro as well, once we figured out how to buy tickets, and found it clean.

We like to look at people, locals and tourists alike, and speculate what they're up too. I use these observations later to create characters for my writing and this trip provided a few new characters. There was a man we watched carrying on a lengthy conversation with an imaginary person. I think the imaginary person even stepped out of the way to let people pass. I also like to see how people dress, and what type of shoes they wear to walk around in. Teresa pointed out that many men were wearing capris. I pointed out the girl in fishnets, black shorts, boots and a red top. I said I'd pass on the capris and she said that she'd pass on the fishnets.

The food was great and we ate at a charming place called Creme de la Creme Cafe in old Montreal. The inside had stone walls, wooden tables, French music was playing, the waitresses spoke English for us with a pretty accent, we had good toasted sandwiches with a salad, coffee, and I had a local micro-brewed stout. What I liked too is that they don't rush you. They won't bring the check until you are ready. By the way, the tip in French is called a pourboire. What that used to mean extra money so the waiter can buy himself a drink after work. Now of course it is a huge part of their salary just as it is here.

We're headed to Washington, Boston and Baltimore this summer as well.

The most amazing sighting.

2010-07-10T14:26:00.000-07:00

We were in Aldi's in Middletown today and I saw the most amazing thing. Now before I tell you what it was, I have to say that I don't really like Aldi's all that much, but we decided to stop off today since we had a quarter to rent a shopping cart and some bags in the trunk. I was kind of half-heartedly browsing while my wife took a more serious approach.

Okay, you want to know what I saw. Well, as I looked up from the frozen foods section I saw a man a bit older than I, his hair was grayer, with a shopping cart. Nothing remarkable yet. He turned toward me and I saw the white lettering on his new hunter green t-shirt. What I read amazed me. The lettering said, "World's Greatest Grandpa." That's right folks, just a scant few feet away from me stood the World's Greatest Grandpa!

Now my first instinct was to shake this man's hand and congratulate him. To be the world's best grandpa means that there must have been some serious competition and there must have been quite a few eliminating rounds prior. There had to be a local, regional, state, national, etc to get to the world competition. That's when it hit me . . . why hadn't I heard anything about this . . . and why wasn't I considered in the competition? That stung.

Finally I came to the conclusion that the World's Greatest Grandpa competition must be rigged somehow. Just another myth.

New Review for Chalk Dust and Chalk Outlines

2010-04-10T16:47:00.000-07:00

I just got a nice review from a woman who won a copy of Chalk Dust and Chalk Outlines through Goodreads. She said, "Nice simple mystery. Believable characters." Short and sweet, and just what I was aiming for as I wrote the book. Hey, I'm not deluding myself into thinking that what I write is great literature. What I write is simple escapism and entertainment. I write what I'd like to read and hope that some people like it. If you haven't read this one yet, please do.

I sent her a copy of Five Fingered Firebugs as well, as a bonus and she had this to say. "Another Hart mystery-actually two mysteries. Good rainy day read. I won this on Goodreads-actually I won Chalk Dust and Chalk Outlines but Mr. Forman kindly gave me this one also. What a treat!"

Thanks Linda

Snowicane 2010

2010-03-03T13:34:00.000-08:00

We survived the Snowicane of 2010, yeah that's what the paper called it, and now its starting to melt. We were out of power for a day, and out of phone, internet and cable for almost four. Thinking about it I realize how dependent we are on our modern conveniences, but how well we can survive a short time without. We made soup on the grill, lit candles, and watched the utility people working. I met some nice men who came up from Pennsylvania to work on the lines in front of the house.

Probably the worst was the lack of coffee, but we figured a way out of that dilemma. Teresa boiled water on the grill and filtered it through the grounds for the first pot. The second time I put the grounds and water in a pot and boiled them together, then strained them. Cowboy coffee. It wasn't half bad, but it wasn't half good either. Thanks Weber Grill!

The phones were okay, we have cell phones that worked most of the time, we couldn't get through sometimes because the lines were all busy. The cable was rough, I got addicted to women's curling and wanted to watch the finals, but I watched a few DVDs. Okay, now here's how pathetic I was about the Internet. On Sunday I got in the car with my i-pod touch and drove through different neighborhoods looking for a signal. I found one and parked in front of a business (they have free wireless) and checked my e-mail, Facebook, and Amazon sales stats. Sad.

The one fatality we had was that our valiant snow-blower gave its life moving tons of snow. RIP Troy Built. Now I have to replace it, but the next one will be bigger, just in case. At our age shoveling snow is not a good idea. I don't want my heart to attack me.

Our only other concern is that we have used more than our alloted snow days which my cut short our Easter break. We're headed south to see the grandchildren so that may cause a problem.

Summer road trip

2009-08-24T12:48:00.000-07:00

My wife and I went on two trips this summer, totaling about five-thousand miles. The first one took us to Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Alabama, and New Orleans, them back again. The second was down to Wilmington NC, and back. I saw some neat things and got plenty of material for some new stories. I also ate quite a bit and wrote about it in my food blog, www.burgersandbrewsfoodreviews.blogspot.com

Check out the blog.

The picture above is from Wrightsville Beach just after Hurricane Bill passed by. The waves were about twelve feet high.

Walden Library

2009-08-13T17:02:00.000-07:00

Lisa and I had a great time at the library today. Thanks to all of you who came out in the rain to see us. If you didn't get there, we'll be back sometime in September for the Farmer's Market again.

Recalculating

2009-07-16T16:15:00.000-07:00

Remember how we used to find places we’ve never been? We used a map, we asked directions, then we used mapquest, and now all we have to do is hang the GPS on the window and follow the instructions. Lazy? Maybe, but it makes life a lot easier. The problem is not to become dependent on them.

Case in point, we have two GPS devices, one for each car. They’re different brands though and they each have certain little quirks, like choosing different routes. We were coming home from Pennsylvania and my wife had the road atlas spread out on her lap, and a GPS in each hand. I had three women telling me where to go at the same time. We reached a compromise when I got one model hung on the window for me, and Teresa had the other to check with the map. I made her mute the one she was holding.

One GPS I set to a British voice and she sounds so much more civilized. Now when I don’t follow her directions, and she sends me on some screwy routes, she doesn’t sound angry with me, just a bit disappointed in me. But I swear the more I make her recalculate, the more complicated she makes the route.

I do like using one even when I know where I’m going. It gives me an ETA, tells me the speed limit, and my speed, and I get to see what roads are coming up. Oh well, on this trip we need one, so we brought them both.

Tri-County Woman Magazine

2009-05-15T13:31:00.000-07:00

If you haven't done so already, check out a great magazine online called Tri-County Woman Magazine. It is put out by this neat woman Felicia Hodges and it is targeted for women 24 to 65-year-old+ who live and work in or around Orange, Ulster and Dutchess Counties in New York.

Inside this issue you will find a great article about Lisa Korpics and her new book, as well as a restaurant review by yours truly.

Ireland

2009-04-20T16:09:00.001-07:00

I just got back from my trip to the British Isles and Ireland and I have to say that the two most beautiful places I've seen were Scotland and Ireland.

There is a song about the forty shades of green in Ireland and after having seen the Ring of Kerry in the sunlight, I agree. This is indeed a land of beauty.

Fish and Chips

2009-04-11T09:18:00.001-07:00

I am in London with a group of 37 teenagers, and six other chaperones. When asked about the food, our tour guide said that in all of recorded history, no one has ever said, “Hey, let’s go out for English.” Well, I haven’t found it all that bad, but I did have an interesting experience.

We (two other chaperones, one female, one male) were in a place called Camden and saw an interesting pub called, The Black Cap, so we went in. Okay, have you seen the movie The Birdcage? Well, that was what it was, downstairs anyway. Upstairs was a nice pub. I expected Gene Hackman and Robin Williams to come through singing We Are Family.

The bottom line (no pun intended) was that the fish and chips were great, the Guinness cold (for England that is) and we had some good laughs. If you are in London, give it a try.

Europe

2009-04-07T15:10:00.000-07:00

I'm headed to England, Scotland, Wales, and Ireland for the Spring break. Yup, me and six other adults along with thirty-eight high school students. It should be fun and interesting, as well as educational.

Maybe I can have Maria go to Ireland on a case sometime.

As Seen on TV

2009-04-02T17:35:00.000-07:00

I bought one of those Pedi-eggs. You know, the ones seen on TV that shave the calluses and dead skin off your feet. Well I decided that instead of waiting to pass on before I spread my ashes around I'm going to spread the shavings in some of my favorite places. That way there will be a little of me everywhere.

Tragic News

2009-04-01T12:50:00.001-07:00

I had some tragic news come in the e-mail this morning from a nice man named Barrister John Law. It seems a relative I never knew was killed, along with his entire family, in a tragic car accident in Nigeria a few months ago. The upside is that he left 17.48 million dollars in a bank account with no heirs. This nice Barrister wants me to claim the money and all he wants is a forty-percent cut. I'm all over this just as soon as I order a new supply of Viagra and Cialis, get some new OEM software, obtain a college degree without going to class, and enlarge my penis. I'm going to pass on the breast enlargements; I'd just look silly with big boobs.

Spam, you gotta love it. My cell phone number is interesting. The first three digits are the country code for Nigeria and the last four are a city code in Nigeria. I got so many calls from people responding to these scams that I had to change my voicemail message to say, "Hi. You've reached Chris Forman. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you. If you are trying to reach a lawyer in Africa to claim your millions, please dial 011 first to place an international call."

Tales from a Dog Catcher

2009-03-21T10:28:00.000-07:00

My friend Lisa Korpics has a new book out. It's called, Tales from a Dog Catcher and it is a collection of short stories about her years as a dog catcher. The stories are heartwarming, funny, and interesting.

You can find it on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and wherever quality books are sold. Please buy a copy so she can retire early. Better yet, buy two and give one away. They make great Easter basket stuffers for that someone special.

STANGRIA

2009-03-01T10:49:00.000-08:00

Check out my new toy. A 2008 Mustang V6 conv. It isn't red like Maria's, but it sure is fun to drive. It'll be even better when it warms up and I can cruise with the top down.

BELEIVE ME by Nina Killham

2009-01-30T13:53:00.000-08:00

I really enjoyed Nina Killham’s first two books. Her first book, HOW TO COOK A TART is a delightful send-up of our impressions of food, relationships and love with a cast of quirky characters and a hilarious plot with a bizarre ending. Her second book, MOUNTING DESIRE, is a hysterical send-up of romance novels and also contains a quirky cast. When I saw that her third was coming out, I pre-ordered it. Well, it finally arrived and I read it in a day and a half.

BELIEVE ME is a slight departure from her normal writing. Sure, some of the characters are quirky and sure, there is a lot of humor, but the story is more, oh, I hate to use these words, as they are so overworked, poignant and heartwarming. This is the story of a young boy and his mother, each searching for something to cling to and believe in.

The story is told from the perspective of Nic Delany, whose mother is a devout atheist and whose father is a professor of comparative religions. Nic has fallen in with group of Christians, not just any Christians, but evangelical Christians and he begins to think about religion. He also thinks about all of the things a typical thirteen-year old boy thinks about. Things like video games and sex. The author does an admirable job writing in the first person and even though it’s been forty years since I was a thirteen-year old, I found it very credible.

Nina Killham made me laugh, she made me smile, she made me think, and she brought a few tears to my eyes. I recommend this book to anyone and have already passed it on to a friend.

food reviews

2008-12-30T17:18:00.000-08:00

I posted a new site for restaurant reviews in our area. It is still a work in progress, but check it out at http://burgersandbrewsfoodreviews.blogspot.com/

Writer's Digest

2008-11-15T12:58:00.001-08:00

I just got a letter from Writer’s Digest informing me that I did not win the self-published author contest for this year. They also sent a comment sheet from judge #31, and I scored a five on plot, and a four on each remaining category; grammar, character development, and cover design. The scale was 0 to 5, five being outstanding. With it came this comment;

“Eliminating the Middleman has a fun plot device, the murder of infomercial actors. Maria is an interesting heroine, self-assured and confident. It’s an imaginative story, and clearly the author has a lot of passion for his subject and his heroine.”

Video

2008-09-01T05:35:00.000-07:00

I'm trying out a new thing called vizzvoxx where you can make a clip. Check out what I've done so far. http://www.vizzvox.com/stories/9CEtFsEjXtjgv01fms

Getting in touch with my feminine side

2008-08-20T07:40:00.000-07:00

Okay, you ladies out there can give a knowing smile at this one. I just had my first pedicure and what an experience. My wife just came back from one and said, “You should go. Your feet are disgusting.” So I took her up on it. Talk about getting in touch with your feminine side.

First, you sit in a nice comfortable massage chair while they soak your feet in warm water. Turn on the massage while your feet soak, and get relaxed. Next, she took my foot and trimmed the nails, then smoothed it off. Then she did the other one. She shaved off the rough spots and massaged my feet and calves. All the while, I was gossiping with the woman next to me and watching Ellen on TV. The only thing that would have made it better would have been chocolate, or a nice glass of wine.

I recommend this to everyone and I’ll go back in two weeks to get happy feet again.

Eliminating the Middleman review

2008-06-30T08:28:00.000-07:00

Gerry Mackay, the author of the Katie Maguire series, just wrote a nice review for Eliminating the Middleman.

Forman has done what few other authors have accomplished: kept me up all night reading his book. I may have lost some sleep, but once I picked up Eliminating The Middleman, I had to sit riveted to my favorite chair until I was finished.

As in the first book of this series, Dead Men Don't Jog, the engaging Maria Hart is recruited by her "sometimes" employer, Northeastern Fidelity Mutual Life Insurance Company, to investigate another suspicious insurance claim. With an apparent serial killer on the loose, Maria enthusiastically takes the case, while at the same time helping the police to track down a murderer. The victims are all television infomercial stars, and Maria must travel from Chicago to New York to Milwaukee, viewing crime scenes and interviewing multiple suspects. With the intuitive Maria Hart relentlessly pursuing them, the bad guys always seem to get a little nervous. As a result, her own life is placed in imminent danger on more than one occasion, only this time we see the housewife-turned-sleuth emerge as something of an action/adventure hero. With the agility of a teenage gymnast, Maria maintains her cool, calm demeanor as she outmaneuvers a knife-wielding schizophrenic in Chicago, only to find herself facing the business end of a gun a week later in Syracuse. How does she get out of that one? Is this the end of the road for the resourceful and loveable Maria Hart?

Read the book and find out. And if you're like me, by the time you finish this book, you'll develop an insatiable craving for a lettuce and tomato sandwich.

M. Jean Pike

2008-06-21T13:44:00.000-07:00

Here are two reviews I wrote for Jean Pike's novels;

Waiting for the Rain, by M. Jean Pike is a tale of a young woman named Willow, Willy for short, who’s been diagnosed with a terminal illness, and dumped by her husband for another woman. Willy is out trying to photograph eagles and comes across a cottage for rent in the boondocks. She I drawn to the cottage, and to the reclusive, eccentric owner. She feels that she belongs there and determines to spend the rest of her life there, no mater how short it may be.

Billed as a paranormal romance novel, Waiting for the Rain will appeal to any reader looking for a well-written novel. The romance is just that, romance tastefully done. The paranormal aspect is well done as well. It is a fast read and very hard to put down. Jean Pike is a master storyteller who will hook you and pull you into the story with her believable characters and story. She even brought a tear or two to my eyes.

M. Jean Pike has done it again with her novel Heatherfield following her delightful book, Waiting for the Rain. Meet Tory Sasser, a young woman who feels frustrated in her work as a counselor and loves to read. When she stops into her favorite bookstore, she’s given an unfinished romance novel. As she finishes the book, her tears turn into new writing on the pages. Tory is pulled into the novel and she realizes she is now in a fictional town called Heatherfield and the year is 1949. The town is a creation of Destiny Page, a bad romance writer. Tory meets Jake Benjamin, a war veteran who lives alone as a recluse. Tory must help the residents of the town fight an evil developer while trying to find a way out for herself.

Jean Pike does an admirable job creating believable characters with a credible plot. I found myself unable to put this book down and finished it quickly. This is an engrossing tale of love, romance, and drama. And yes, I am a male reading a romance novel. This book is not a sappy romance novel, it is a nice breath of fresh air and anyone will enjoy it. I eagerly await her next book.

Eliminating the Middleman review

2008-06-21T13:39:00.000-07:00

Just got a neat review from M. Jean Pike for Eliminating the Middleman today. Jean is the author of paranormal romance mysteries and I really enjoy her work.

"A serial killer is "eliminating" infomercial stars, and who better to get to the bottom of things than feisty, redheaded insurance investigator Maria Hart? Eliminating The Middleman, the second in Chris Forman's Maria Hart Mystery series, is a thoroughly enjoyable read and one I would recommend to any lover of good mysteries.

I was more than once taken by surprise by the interesting twists and turns this story took, and having gotten to know Maria in the first book in the series, Dead men Don't Jog, reading her newest adventure was like catching up with an old friend.

Chris Forman's amazing ability to understand the criminal mind, along with his delightful sense of humor, makes this book a joy to read."

New Review

2008-04-30T16:08:00.000-07:00

Got another nice review for Dead Men Don't jog today. This one is from Robert Bailey, author of the Art Hardin series.

Hello Maria Hart, a cool breeze from the Windy City. She is a full time wife and mother--part time insurance investigator. Maria makes her debut with a case involving a dead man pursuing his second life in the Second City.

Alan Flarke, a thief of hearts and money, takes the events of September Eleventh in New York City as an opportunity to escape with his ill gotten gain into a debauched life of money and murder in the city of Chicago. One morning he is out for a jog and runs straight into trouble. He is accidentally photographed by an old aquaintance. At that point the donuts hit the glaze and Maria Hart, insurance investigator, is on the job.

Chris Forman does a creditable job of writing across the genders to create an intimate, lovable, and full-figured--in a 1950's, Marilyn Monroe sort of way--portrait of a determined Maria Hart. Maria, daughter of a police family, is not afraid of a culprit or a Krispy-Creme.

Chris is at his best in the mind and actions of the antagonist, Alan Flarke. Some picayune craft issues and the frenetic organization of DEAD MEN DON'T JOG cause me to save the last star for his future use.

New Reviews

2008-04-24T08:33:00.000-07:00

I got two nice reviews for Dead Men Don't Jog recently.

From Jean Pike, a fabulous romance writer;

I was initially drawn to Chris Forman's DEAD MEN DON'T JOG by its title and incredible premise: A businessman thought to have perished in the World Trade Center tragedy of 9/11 is seen jogging, five years later, in Chicago's Navy Pier. Is it insurance fraud ... or something much worse?

But as I delved into the story, it was the warmth and spontenaity of the female lead, insurance investigator Maria Hart, who kept me turning the pages. Unlike so many protagonists who are superhuman to the point of losing credibility, I got the sense of a real woman, someone I might share a cup of coffee with, or a bit of gossip in the supermarket line. Maria drinks too much coffee, eats too much starch, and sometimes her temper gets the best of her. But she loves her family, is intensely loyal to her friends, and has a wonderful sense of humor. Her amazing eye for detail and brilliant powers of deduction made this story "un-put-downable."

Chris Forman has written a truly fabulous mystery with a chilling theme and plenty of colorful, lifelike characters. His short, sharp chapters made for easy and enjoyable reading. I look forward to reading more in this series.

And from Gerry Mackey, the author of A Necessary End;

Wow, I love strong, sexy women. And the red-haired, full-figured Maria Hart is right at the top of my list. Chris Forman has cleverly created one of those fictional heroines I wish I could meet in real life. Maria is a smart, sassy, no nonsense insurance fraud investigator who never gives up in her pursuit of the truth. Family members describe her as inquisitive, tenacious, and plucky. She relentlessly tracks down the culprit, while maintaining her other persona as a loving wife and mother. This intuitive, coffee-guzzling sleuth is the one you want when you need to solve an unusual case.

In Dead Men Don't Jog, the bad guy isn't just ripping off the insurance company, he's a sociopathic killer. Tracking him down is not just a one-woman show: Maria's whole family gets in on the action, helping her to bring this serial killer to justice. The characters are well-developed, the action is fast paced, and as a bonus, the reader is treated to some of Maria's famous recipes. If you like exciting mystery thrillers, I highly recommend Dead Men Don't Jog.

Tails from the Diary of a Dog Catcher

2008-02-22T13:29:00.000-08:00

My friend Lisa Korpics has signed a deal and her book, Tails from the Diary of a Dog Catcher is in the works with Lyons Press. Check out her blog for more info.

Kindle Books

2008-01-30T15:48:00.000-08:00

All three of my books, including the new one, are now available for the Amazon Kindle, that new electronic reader. The price for each is a paltry five bucks. Click here for more info.

Best Local Author

2008-01-04T13:48:00.000-08:00

Thanks to everyone who voted. The Times Herald Record, circulation 80,538, voted me best local author in a reader's poll. Dead Men Don't Jog was voted best book as well.

Record best of

2007-12-08T12:04:00.000-08:00

The Times Herald Record has an annual reader's poll where the do 'the reader's choice best of' for the year. I am listed for best local author and for best book. I sure would appreciate your votes on this too. The address is http://thrnewmedia.com/bestof/
Thanks for the support.

Okay, the voting is closed now and the results will be published on Jan 4th. Thanks all for the support.

Out to publisher

2007-12-08T12:02:00.000-08:00

I just sent Firebugs off to the publisher the other day and I should have the proof in hand in a couple of weks. That means that the book should be available by mid to late January.

Walden Women's Club

2007-10-13T10:00:00.000-07:00

I am speaking at the Walden Women's Club on Monday the fifteenth of October. They start at 7:00 and I thought it was just the club, but June invited many people. If you're free, stop by and I can bore you to tears as well.

Mourning the Cubs, go Cleveland!

2007-10-06T18:32:00.000-07:00

I just watched the end of game three of the Cubs/Diamondbacks series. A first pitch home run? It's too bad, but expected. I think the Cubs get so far, then look down at their jerseys and realize they aren't supposed to be playing in October. The really sad thing is that it looks like the Rockies or the Diamondbacks (who cares?) against the Indians or the Red Sox. As Much as I hate it, I'll be rooting for the American League team, and I hope it's the Indians to end their 50 or so year drought. As for the Cubs, what they need to do is;

-Get the Billy Goat guy to undo the curse
-Get Steve Bartman into the Federal Witness protection program
-check the feng shui at Wrigley
-realize that they will fill the stadium no matter what and be happy being the lovable losers. Cut the payroll and bring in some new, and inexpensive talent.
-apologize to Chicago, and the fans, for phoning in the last three games.

Oh well, I guess there's always next year when it is the one-hundredth anniversary of the last Cubs World Series win. As for me? I'll be at Wrigley next year for a game and I'll wear my Cubs Jersey to work on Tuesday.

Times Herald Record

2007-09-22T16:50:00.000-07:00

On Monday I had the pleasure of being interviewed on the phone by Amy Berkowitz of the Times Herald Record. She is featuring Dead Men Don't Jog, along with the works of two other local authors, in her bi-monthly feature in the Sunday paper. We talked for almost forty minutes and she told me she likes the character of Maria Hart and she also thinks Maria should be on TV or in the movies.

Look for the article in the begining of October.

Library event

2007-09-22T12:37:00.000-07:00

Here I am with Cindy Dubinski at the East Fishkill Library, the adult service librarian. Cindy is a lovely woman and she runs a nice program over there. We had a nice chat about reading and writing. Cindy thinks Maria Hart should be a TV or movie character.

It was a nice evening which started with a turkey dinner at Tony Martino's house along with some other close friends, then off to the library. There was a fair turnout and some new Maria Hart fans.

East Fishkill Library

2007-08-06T07:51:00.000-07:00

I will be at the East Fishkill Library on Thursday, September 20th at 7:00 PM. Books will be available for purchase, and signing. For more info check out the libraries web site at http://www.eastfishkilllibrary.org Stop by on the 20th and visit.

Expanded bio

2007-07-12T09:43:00.000-07:00

It was a dark and stormy night. Okay, never start a book like that but you can start a life like that. I was born in 1955 in the middle of hurricane season. Now it wasn’t night, but I hear it was dark. Wait . . . if I was born in 1955 that makes me . . . oh crap 52.

Well the first eighteen years were typical of a teenager growing up in the early 1970's and I graduated from Valley Central High School in June of 1973, roughly in the top third of the class. I then went on to Orange County Community College and did so well there that they requested (okay demanded) that I take some time off from school. That was in 1974 and I took them so seriously that I stayed away for 25 years. See below.

I met my lovely wife Teresa one enchanted evening in a place called Gobeo’s. A local bar in Middletown. We were married on August 13th 1977, my birthday, and we celebrate our thirtieth anniversary this year. We have four children. Two are married and two are at home. All are college graduates. We also have two grandchildren and one more on the way. The names of my children and grandchildren have been used in my books.

I have had many careers in my life and I’ll try to list them here. Many of them have had a tremendous influence in my writing.

Pearl diver (dish washer) at my step-father’s restaurant
Custodian at the local phone company while in school
Men’s clothing salesman
Coffee route salesman
Uniform rental driver
Bread man (route driver) for Millbrook and Freihofer bread.
Truck and power equipment salesman
Retail store manager
Professional photographer
Teacher’s aide
Teacher

This all got to be such a pain when I had to fill out job applications (list previous work experience) Back in 1998 I decided to return to college and finish my degree. Four years later I had a Masters in education and I now teach social studies at the same high school I graduated from.